


Lost Love (is Sweeter when it's Finally Found)

by aintweproudriff



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ambassador Sokka (Avatar), Angst with a Happy Ending, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Time Skips, squick: vomit, this is basically a songfic but with multiple songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintweproudriff/pseuds/aintweproudriff
Summary: Zuko and Sokka were really just waiting for each other this whole time.Based on my Zukka playlist.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 118





	Lost Love (is Sweeter when it's Finally Found)

**Author's Note:**

> Here are the songs used, in order:  
> Title: "Past Lives," BØRNS  
> "Arsonist's Lullaby," Hozier  
> "Past Lives," BØRNS  
> "King," Lauren Aquilina  
> "Eight," Sleeping at Last  
> "Talk to Me," Cavetown
> 
> Anyway, enjoy my first ever ATLA fanfiction!

_“All you have is your fire  
And the place you need to reach  
Don't you ever tame your demons  
But always keep 'em on a leash”_

* * *

The sounds of the warship made his head hurt. Zuko had been on the boat for days — a whole week, almost — without stepping onto land. Water travel was less than ideal for a firebender, with the way it constantly jostled them around. Controlling anything was impossible if he was forced out of a standing position by something as simple as waves. And the noise, and the headaches, and the seasickness. 

He was trying not to puke into his bedroom wastebasket when he heard his uncle’s voice from the doorway behind him. 

“Prince Zuko,” Iroh said, and Zuko choked down what was in his throat. “We will be arriving to shore in very little time, and they request your presence on deck.”

Zuko turned to look at his uncle. “I will be up shortly.”

Iroh nodded and left the room, while Zuko took a deep breath before following.

On the deck, the crew was waiting for him. They nodded or bowed respectfully as he passed, and something tugged at his stomach. Pride, maybe, at being feared. Guilt, maybe, for forcing them to be loyal to him, even though he had been banished. He pretended it was still just seasickness. 

“Men, this is a routine stop to replenish our supplies, and then we will continue to move south,” he told everyone gathered around him. “Now, I know that we are not hurting for supplies, but this is the last available market before we reach the South Pole, and therefore-”

He stopped talking when he realized that his men weren’t listening. Instead, they were staring at the sky behind him. He rushed to the telescope to get a better look, and watched as a yellow streak lit up the sky. Gasping, he turned back to the men. 

“I’ve found the avatar. And his hiding place. Captain,” he yelled, “skip the shore landing. We have a new destination.”

Zuko waved his hand in the air. “You’re all dismissed, as I must prepare to overcome this village in order to find the avatar.”

Iroh stepped forward. “Prince Zuko, I advise that you choose some men to accompany you into the village. They should be of some assistance to you, should you encounter any problems.”

“I won’t need assistance,” Zuko stared him down, his palms lighting up. “I’ll have all I need.”

* * *

_“So save that heart for me  
'Cause girl you know that you're my destiny  
Respect to the moon, the stars, their sons and their daughters  
Our love is deeper than the oceans of water”_

* * *

“Why did you leave?” Sokka asked, for what felt like the millionth time. “Why did you leave me alone, just as soon as I realized that I needed you?”

Neither the sky, the stars, or the moon replied. Not that Sokka was expecting any differently. Every month, when he did this, it was the same. He’d come outside on the full moon, just as Katara was having fun with her super-charged, magic bending. She loved practicing in the extra light that Yue gave her, even if she never acknowledged that Yue was the one who was blessing her so much. She must have forgotten.  
Sokka couldn’t. 

“I thought,” he choked, trying not to cry. “I thought I was going to protect you, to save you, to help keep you and your nation safe. I really believed it, too. You made me think I could do anything. It was nice to think that maybe you needed me, but I think I needed you more. I needed to feel strong, and important, and you did that for me for the first time. You made me feel brand new, and like I could be somebody, and then you left. And I know you had to, but I would have found another way. You would have figured out another way, if we had just had more time-”

His voice cracked and he stopped talking, unable to continue. It was killing him to go through this monologue once a month. Every four weeks, though, he ran back over it in his mind. He had to, for the next time someone needed him. What could he have done differently? Could he have saved her? Could she have saved him? 

The ocean pulled at the shore, in and out, and Sokka watched, letting himself breathe with the tide. 

He couldn’t tell if it was Yue, his imagination, or something else, but peace crashed over him. Like a bolt of lightning, he heard something from his heart. He heard that something big was coming for him.  
He didn’t doubt that. He knew that eventually, they would have to deal with the Fire Nation.  
But he heard that someone important was coming for him, too. Someone who needed him, and who he would need. Someone as perfect for him as he was for them. He looked at the ocean, and the moon, and wiped the water from his face with the back of his hand. Standing up, Sokka smiled, and went back inside. 

* * *

_“You've got it all  
You lost your mind in the sound  
There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown  
You're in control, rid of the monsters inside your head  
Put all your faults to bed  
You can be king again.”_

* * *

Zuko wasn’t comfortable in the palace. Technically, it was his now. His father was gone, and so was Azula. He was all that was left of the line of firelords, and he intended to change the meaning of the royal legacy.  
Still, it felt empty. Aang, Toph, Katara, and Sokka had left to go back to their homes (Aang accompanied Toph to her house, insisting that she could use some emotional backup). Iroh was in Ba Sing Se, doing community outreach through tea. Ty Lee and Mai were off on some vacation, trying to relax after the events of the last month. Without all of them there, every step in the palace echoed against marble walls.  
As if the sound wasn’t bad enough, he walked through his father’s quarters early in his first week as Firelord. The rooms were huge, with portraits of every Firelord from the past two hundred years. Zuko felt like they watched his every move. And his father’s study was filled with swords and items he had stolen from the other nations - war trophies. A plate from the Earth Kingdom, a bone knife from the Water Kingdom, and what was unmistakably a child’s drawing of an air bison from a ravaged Air Temple. The image almost brought him to tears, but it was the item tucked in the back of a desk drawer that really made his resolve crumble.  
His mother’s jade comb. It was unmistakably hers, engraved with a hawk on one side and flowers on the other. When he saw it, he ran from the room, back to his own bedroom.  
The next day, he returned, took it from his father’s study and put it in his own. On display this time, not hidden. 

“Firelord Zuko,” asked one of the heads of housekeeping, “would you prefer to move into the traditional room for Firelords? The room of your father?”

Zuko choked on his laugh. “Absolutely not. In fact, let’s board up that section and begin plans to extend the garden into that area.”

“An indoor garden?”

“Yes,” Zuko replied, self-assured for what felt like the first time. “I want it to be a beautiful, natural space, and I want it to be full of growth, instead of violence. Can you speak to someone about that, please?”

“Of course, Firelord Zuko.”

“Thank you.” He smiled to himself. Not every decision as Firelord was going to be that easy, but if he could get through choices like that one, he could find a way to make the bigger ones, too. 

* * *

_“I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough  
To hold the door shut and bury my innocence  
But here's a map, here's a shovel  
Here's my Achilles' heel.”_

* * *

Sokka broke down a week into his new job as ambassador. 

“Zuko,” he yelled, throwing the door open and crashing into Zuko’s study. “Why did you give me this job? I don’t know anything about this shit!”

Zuko stood up from his desk. “Hi, Sokka, how are you? Good to see you. How are you settling into your room in the palace? Is the service oka-”

“Don’t be sarcastic, that’s my job, and I’m being serious right now. I have no idea what I’m doing, Zuko. I knew how to lead in the Water Tribe, but that was thirty people, and I could barely make the right choice there. This is the entire world. These decisions affect everyone. Not just my tribe, but the Earth Kingdom, and the Fire Nation, and-” he exhaled loudly “-oh fuck, the Northern Water Tribe. Those places are all so different than my place. Zuko, I can’t do this.”

Zuko stepped over to Sokka. “Sit down. Where is this coming from?”

Sokka put his head in his hands. “I don’t know, it’s just so weird to be in the Fire Nation. I mean, if I told myself two years ago that I would end up here, I never would have believed it. And on top of that, I’m in the palace. And everything is so big here, and it feels like everything I say echoes through every hallway.”

Zuko hummed in understanding. 

“And every choice I’m going to have a hand in making will ripple through the world. So what happens when I make the wrong choice?” He looked up at Zuko and his eyes showed serious fear. “What if people die because of something I do?”

And Zuko understood, all of a sudden. “Sokka,” he put his hand on Sokka’s arm, “you are the best person for this job. Do you know why?”

Sokka shook his head. 

“You’re asking that question. There are millions of people out in the world. And they’re smart, qualified, people. They understand what policy is and what the consequences of war can be. But,” he said forcefully when he noticed Sokka’s confused face, “not all of them have experienced it like you. In fact, none of them have. You are the only person who can understand what it’s like to have family taken from them in war, and to be in all four nations and see that damage, and to want to fix it. You are the only person who planned the invasion, and who took the wheel at the Boiling Rock, and who trained in everything but bending.”

Sokka’s face was bright red, but Zuko continued. 

“And all of those people who might be good at the ambassador position aren’t you. You are, truly, the only person who can do this job right.”

Sokka hiccuped. “But what if-”

“Bad things are going to happen. But it’s like,” Zuko tried to come up with the right way to say it, and sighed. “It’s like the silver sandwich.”

That made Sokka laugh. “I’ve never understood what the fuck that meant.”

And that made Zuko laugh. “Me neither, honestly.”

And Sokka laughed more, and Zuko laughed more, and within seconds the two of them were cackling uncontrollably on the couch, leaning on each other for support. When they calmed down, and it got easier to breathe, Sokka stood up. 

“Thank you,” he said, looking like he meant it. 

“Of course,” Zuko replied. “Even if I hadn’t meant everything I’d just told you, I still would want to keep you around, since you can make me laugh like that.”

Sokka rolled his eyes. “And I would still want to be here, since you allegedly are so impressed by me.”

Zuko grinned. “I can only hope that you can think as highly of me as I do of you.”

Silently, Sokka hugged him and left the room, very aware of just how highly he thought of Zuko. 

* * *

_“Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep  
Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams  
It's so dark tonight, but you'll survive certainly  
It's alright, come inside, and talk to me”_

* * *

Less than a month ago, Sokka had resigned as acting ambassador of the Water Tribe. Not because he had felt unworthy of the title, but because he had other roles at the palace to fulfill. He had given up his job, after a year and a half of service, and a young woman from the Northern Water Tribe had stepped into the position.  
Now, he pulled the covers up over himself and the Firelord, both of them nestled comfortably in bed. He’d been woken up by the light of the full moon shining through the curtains, and he had smiled and waved at her in silent thanks before rolling over and trying to go back to sleep.  
Just as he was about to sleep, though, he felt Zuko stir beside him.  
He did that all the time. Over the past month, Sokka had learned that Zuko was a light sleeper, so he didn’t think very deeply into it. He quickly closed his eyes again. 

“No,” Zuko muttered, “no, please.”

And that really got Sokka’s attention. He propped himself upright a little bit, and waited to see if Zuko would wake himself up. 

“Please, I can stop it,” Zuko whispered, “I can help.”

Sokka grunted and sat up all the way. “Zuko,” he said quietly, putting his hand on his boyfriend’s arm. 

“Don’t leave,” Zuko said, louder.

“Zuko, wake up. You’re having a bad dream,” Sokka said, matching Zuko’s volume and shaking his arm. When he didn’t wake up, but his face grew more and more distressed, Sokka reached around him and pulled Zuko close to his own body. He kissed the top of Zuko’s head, then his forehead. “Wake up, Zuko, you’re safe.”

Zuko jolted again, and when Sokka looked down, his eyes were open. 

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Zuko nodded. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“We were outside the palace, and it was on fire,” Zuko said, and his breath caught. “And everyone said they could stop it, so everyone ran in. Aang, my uncle, Katara, Toph, Azula, Mai, and finally you went in. I kept saying I could actually stop it by bending it away, but my bending wasn’t working, and-”  
Zuko shook his head and pressed his face into Sokka’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Sokka whispered. “You’re safe, Iroh is safe, Mai and Azula are safe, Katara and Aang are safe, Toph is safe. And I’m right here, completely fine. Alright?”

Zuko nodded. 

Sokka rubbed circles on his back. “Do you want to go take a walk, or do you want to stay here?”

“Stay here. I’m okay here.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sokka said, pulling the blanket to cover both of them again. “We’re okay, and we’re safe, right?”

“Right,” Zuko agreed.

It would be a while before either of them were able to get back to sleep, but they laid together for as long as it took.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy [ this Zukka playlist!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4s0HNqyOV8AH7CMmYGsPr2?si=2Qn502jXS52y8cWUjyuuAw) Also, kudos and comments sustain me, and might even inspire me to write more for Zukka!
> 
> If you want to catch anything else I do, my writing tumblr is @aintweproudriff, and my main tumblr is @lesbianpomatter. I'd love to talk about Zukka or anything else!


End file.
